The Schlock Locker
All "B" movies, all the time!
It's ok... we're good. It's a "Premium" picture!
Blasting out of the Locker today is Invisible Invaders, a 1959 drop in the cinematic chum bucket of questionable opacity starring John Agar as Major Bruce Jay (who manages to show up about halfway through the movie), John Carradine (for about 10 minutes), Jean Byron as Phyllis, Phillip Tonge as Dr. Penner and Robert Hutton as Dr. Lamont.
Here is where the pain begins, folks. Better strap in....
This movie isn't very long but it is quite painfully entertaining. After Carradine's character blows himself up in an “atomic accident,” his invisibly invaded corpse looks up his old friend and fellow scientist Dr. Penner to deliver a message. OK.. it was more or less a monologue, but essentially invisible invaders took over the moon 20K years ago (it must have been much nicer back then) and now they have finally gotten to setting their sights on Earth! They have asked Penner to warn the people of Earth that invasion is imminent and that humanity should just simply surrender. Of course, nobody listens to the guy who talks to his recently “blowed-up” buddy, and the invisible invaders invade anyway by taking over corpses, blowing up bridges and dams, causing motor vehicle accidents, and generally causing mischief and destruction...all with the clever use of stock footage. Enter John Agar's character Major Bruce Jay who squirrels the main characters away in an underground bunker to search for some defense against the invaders. After about 20 minutes of shenanigans and pseudo-science, it is determined that the invisible invaders are highly irritated by certain sound frequencies. They then enlist Spinal Tapp to come in and turn everything up to “11!” Ok, maybe not, but it would have made for a more interesting plot than Agar riding around on top of a SUV and shooting his “screech” gun at everything that invisibly moves. The invaders are “sound waved” into defeat and the saviors of humanity are brought to the United Nations to receive thanks from a grateful planet. The (rather pitiful) end...
OK, Gang! We've been on the moon for 20,000 years. NOW that they can do THIS .. Lets go invade!!!
Watch Invisible Invaders HERE on YOUTUBE or Netflix
For a movie that is just over an hour long, it is jammed-packed with some crazy mess! First off, Carradine (who was BLOWN UP in an “atomic accident”) shows back up fresh from his funeral looking mighty good for being freshly incinerated, fragmented, and irradiated in an “atomic accident.” After having received the invaders warning to surrender, Penner tells his contact at the Pentagon what is about to happen. OK, let's review. Old scientist tells the Pentagon that his recently dead friend came back to warn him... when he was all alone and nobody was around.. and told him that INVISIBLE invaders were about to come down to Earth and create some havoc. They, of course, didn't believe him and the NEXT DAY (and in a glorious montage of rotating headlines) major newspapers are calling this guy a loon. Perhaps its just the cynic in me but I have a hard time believing that the day after this happens that major newspapers across America would be leading with this as a headline. Was it THAT newsworthy when some scientist approaches the pentagon to reveal that his dead friend warned him that invisible aliens from the moon are going to take over corpses and blow shit up? Must have been a slow-news week!
I'll say this..he looks good for a irradiated pile of ash!
So, the invisible invaders can reanimate corpses, blow up dams, bridges, buildings, and entire countries (at one point, the narrator explains to us that Denmark and Russia were blown up) but somehow has an issue getting into a underground bunker that you can drive a chevy into. Hmmmmm!
And YET Again, we have the incredibly “budget friendly” invisible aliens who come to take over post-war atomic-age Earth. It always intrigues me how these invaders “watch and study” humanity for years and THEN, when we develop atomic weapons, they then decide to pop by to scavenge our natural resources. Seems to be bad timing on their part, if you ask me.
The ending was about as cheezy as it gets. They went from getting their visible asses handed to them to lounging at the UN getting accolades in about 5 minutes. I dunno what happened to wrap things up so quickly. The director had a hot date or they ran out of money suddenly? All in all, it was mildly entertaining as usual for the eccentricities and holes that the movie digs itself into as well as the subtle context and commentary of cold-war era psychology.
Oh, good. We're SAVED! The Ring-Toss truck is here! Clearly a high-tech operation when you strap the receiving end of a Lawn-Darts game to the top of your truck! The Invisible invaders don't stand a chance.
ATTACK of the STOCK FOOTAGE
The Schlock Locker PRESENTS:
I suppose it helps a BUNCH when invisible invaders come to invisibly invade and they go to break all our shit that we can draw "X"s on the mountains where we want them to crash our planes. Keeps the wreckage organized!
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